Another Travel Tip

Airports stress me out. Every time I have to go through security, I feel like I am taking a basic intelligence test. This test has only one question; “Are you a doofus?” As often as not, the answer is yes, I am a doof. One time, this other cop and I both had to fly somewhere for some training. Before I left my house, I went through all my stuff using my mental anti-moron checklist: Did I pack this? Did I forget to pack that? No guns, no knives, no fingernail clippers, no big shampoo bottles... I was clean. On a last minute impulse, I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door.

As we went through security I thought I was going to pass the test. I really wanted to anyway, because I didn't want my buddy to find out about the whole doofus thing. I learned later that he had found it out already a long time before... Anyway, I was almost through the line when they halted everything and singled me out, called me out, to be more accurate. I had a bullet in the pocket of my jacket. Let me stress how unbelievably moronic this makes me.  A .45 caliber big stupid shiny bullet.  Right in the pocket of my jacket. I had worn the same jacket to the range the day before and I must've just missed it. The worse part was that my buddy and co-worker saw the whole thing.  (Although, I have never seen it on a cop show, I can't believe that I am the only person to which, this sort of thing happens.)

So, here is the travel tip. Don't worry about taking anything with you. All you need is a sheet of paper with everything you will need at your destination listed right on it. You just write it all down: tube of toothpaste, shaving cream, whatever... Then, right at the top of the paper write in big letters: “SCAVENGER HUNT.” People will give you anything if they think you are on a scavenger hunt.