The Cool Wave; Cops vs. Motorcyclists

I always like it when I see two motorcyclists pass each other on the highway and they give each other that low sort of wave where they extend their left arms out a little and keep their thumbs, pointers and birdies straight while bending their rings and pinkies to make a sort of inverted peace sign (except the thumb is out there too.) It's like the motorcyclists are saying to each other, “Yeah, we're pretty cool. All those fools in their air conditioned cars are just jealous.”

Cops have a cool wave too. We do it when we see other cops passing on the highway or pulled over somewhere. Ours consists of raising the pointer and birdie of whichever hand is on the top of the steering wheel and giving them a little flick. It's very subtle and cool. I believe we are conveying the same sort of message of camaraderie as the motorcyclists. Unfortunately, I have a real aversion to coolness, or at least to attempting to be cool so, I have come up with my own police wave which I call the spaz wave. It consists of raising all five fingers and splaying them out as far as they will stretch. Then, I frantically wave that hand back and forth as hard as I can. I also shake my head back and forth in the opposite direction that my hand is waving to further spaz it up and make it more ridiculous. Cops never know what to make of the spaz wave when they see it but, so far, they tolerate it. In fact, sometimes I'll get a spaz wave back from another officer after I have spaz waved them. I love it when that happens.