My Second Attempt at Starting an Urban Legend

I met Senator Orrin Hatch one time about 16 years ago at the Days of '47 Parade in Salt Lake City, Utah. In those days, the parade was a huge deal that everyone would get really hyped about. They televised it live, like it was the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade except on a much smaller scale and no applicant, seemingly, was ever turned away. Every yahoo with a tractor and a bag of Pixie Stix was waiting in line to be a part of the show. It started near the capital in Salt Lake City and ran right down State Street through downtown. I guess it wasn't as scary back then because entire families would camp along the side of State Street on July 23^rd, to reserve a good spot for the parade.

Anyway, early on the morning of Pioneer Day, I went downtown to hire a clown (as the saying goes). I happened to be walking on the sidewalk where all of the entries in the parade staged to wait for their turn. Senator Hatch was riding a horse next to Utah's other Republican Senator Bob Bennet (retired). By riding a horse, I really mean sitting on top of a horse being led by someone trusted not to allow the Senators to be injured or to injure anyone else. The point is, they were both sitting on top of horses.

I was able to get sort of close to Senator Hatch and speak to him briefly. I said, “Senator, I notice you have six fingers on your right hand. Someone was looking for you...” Suddenly, quick as a cat, Senator Hatch pulled out his sword and konked me on the top of my head with the hilt. I expected to wake up strapped to a torture device in the Pit of Despair but instead I just had a really bad bump on the top of my head.

 

Do you see what I mean? 

Add a goatee to that face...