Things you Never want to Hear at Work

"Dude, I had the weirdest dream about you..."

“This really itches, does it look infected?”

“Do you have any prescription pain killers? I'm in so much pain...”

“I had school lunch, does my breath stink?”

"I made you a mix cd!"

“You have a truck right? Can you drive me to Vegas to pick up a fridge from my In-Law's on Saturday?  I'll buy you lunch...”

“Before I tell this story; Does anyone have a problem with the 'N' word?” (By the way, yes! Nobody wants to hear the joke your old racist grandpa told you when you were a kid.)

“Can I close your office door? I have been having some personal problems.”

“I'm going to need to see you in my office... go ahead, close the door.”

“Well guys, we could only get one room so, some of us are going to have to double up.”

“Do you have any Chapstick I can use?”

“You were the last person to use the printer, how did it break?”

“We're going to need to hold on to your employee ID until we get this all sorted out...”

"What did you think of the mix cd I made you?"

“Excuse me!!! I should NOT have had that Mongolian Barbecue this morning.”

"Sorry, I forgot my wallet again..."

“How would you like to earn $3,000 a week working from home for as little as four hours every month?” or “It's not a pyramid scheme, it's a honey comb.” or “If I can just get you and two other people to sign up, I will make diamond level!”

and finally,

"Did you read my blog?"