The End of the Mayan Calendar

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to clarify a misconception that seems to have taken hold about the end of our calendar piece “The Mayan Circle.” People believe the end of the calendar portends the end of the world. I am happy to say that this is not the case. The end of the calendar actually signifies the end of a long and ancient mystery, whose answer has finally been revealed. The question has always been, “In the game called 'The Floor is Made of Lava', is the rug a raft?” The answer is, “It depends how many people are playing, three or more, yes, it's a raft but, if there are only two of you, you better get up on that coffee table because your raft is on fire!” So, anyway, sorry about the confusion. I hope the rule clarification is as helpful to you as it has been to us.

Sincerely,

The Mayans

(If anyone can think of a funny picture to go with this, it would make it a lot better, I think. Just let me know.)