Popular Names

Here are some names that are becoming popular in 2016. Rooter for boys and Ruder for girls. Oddly, the name Router is catching on like flap jacks for both boys and girls north of the 49^th parallel. I like the name Zephyr for the child of a celebrity couple in the coming months. I'm looking at you Kanye...

On an unrelated note, my Mom used to tell me that I was cruising for a bruising when I was a kid. She loved the phrase because it conveyed the following messages: “You're pissing me off right now.” “This is not a joke.” “You better wipe that smirk off of your face.” and “I am about two seconds away from losing my shit and I will not be held responsible for whatever happens after that.” It conveyed all of those things and was benign enough for her to say, even in church.

I recently pulled the phrase out and dusted it off myself. I have tried on several occasions to use it with my own children or in the workplace, but with little success. I just can't tell someone that they are cruising for a bruising and muster real anger. The obvious question to ask is, whether the phrase alone is so ridiculous as to be nonsensical or if I associate it with my childhood and now feel nostalgic toward certain laws of motion and physical abuse.

I can't decide, but my ten year old better check himself before he wrecks himself with his room...